I’m a 21-year-old virgin and I hate myself for it.

I’ve been on this earth for twenty-one years and have yet to have sex. Now, I know that’s not abnormal, and being a virgin in your twenties is pretty common in the world. I’ve read tons of articles, blogs, and even Reddit forms on this. I know I’m not the only 21 years old asking myself, ‘Hey, why haven’t I had sex yet?’

For me, it’s not the possibility of, maybe I’m physically ugly, maybe no one finds me pleasing. There are tons of people who don’t fit society’s standards of attractiveness or pleasing and they’re not virgins. My main issue is the fact that a lot of people I went to high school with are already married, and pregnant, which means, they had sex. Those people I know, are no longer virgins.

At first, I didn’t mind being a virgin, I just assumed it wasn’t my time yet, that when it was the right time, I’d meet the right person to lose my virginity to. It also wasn’t like I was a virgin in all aspects, I’ve masturbated and used vibrators for some form of pleasure. I’ve just never physically had sex with another human being. When I hit twenty-one though, the feelings of still being a virgin completely shifted.

See, I know that my high school friends have already had sex. Most of them probably did while in high school. At the time, I could care less. I was someone who cared more about reading fanfictions, working on school, and worrying about the next Marvel movie that was coming out. I didn’t worry about relationships, sex, and honestly anything in that category. It wasn’t appealing to me one bit. Now that I’m a legal adult though, I’m feeling like I’m lost. I feel as if I’m behind and not as mature as others because I’m still a virgin.

Being a virgin and not having sex right away, obviously doesn’t matter all the time. Though, by society’s standards, it seems as if it’s a big deal. The media, especially movies, shows, and even porn, make it seem as if you need to be having sex before your twenties. They make it seem like most people do have sex before their twenties, which I believe isn’t always true.

Now, at twenty-one, I’m starting to hate myself for being a virgin. I have this sense of feeling that I’ve messed up and haven’t done life right. I should’ve already had sex more than once in my life, according to what I see with those around me and the way media presents sex. I know that’s not always true, and that everyone moves at their own pace, even with sex. But, it feels like I’m behind and lacking the one human interaction that we almost need in life.

Sex seems to be presented to us in ways that make it seem that it’s NOT okay to be a virgin at the age of twenty-one. They make it seem like we need to have sex by at least sixteen. I’m twenty-one now, and because of society’s way of promoting sex, I hate myself, because I’m still a virgin.